


Bruce, I'm leaving you for Mothman

by orphan_account



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, M/M, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:34:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23011819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Dick started dating Mothman to make Bruce jealous. A short crack fic.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson/Mothman
Comments: 5
Kudos: 41





	Bruce, I'm leaving you for Mothman

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because i watch too much buzzfeed unsolved and I’ve been so angry at the ao3 news lately that i just wanted to post something although i'm a terrible writer. i was literally pissing myself laughing while writing this. i hope it would make you smile too. i'm sorry my first brudick fic is a crack fic and unfortunately I was sober during the process.

“Bruce, I'm leaving you for Mothman.” Dick declared.

“Okay, sure, find your Mothman. The crimes aren't going to fight themselves.” Bruce dragged his new set of bruise and scars down to the Batcave.

Dick has had enough. He went up to his bedroom, packed his clothes and gears, and booked a one-way ticket to Virginia.

As Bruce watched him leave the Wayne manor with his roller suitcase he realized he had made a huge mistake and that Dick was deadly serious.

**Seven months later**

“Bruce! I'm back with my new boyfriend!” Alfred and Bruce were starting to get worried that they haven’t heard from Dick for such a long time, he went home in the middle of the night, with unexpected guest.

They opened the door to find Dick being carried bridal-style, by a seven and a half feet tall figure with beaming red eyes and wings - that kind of looked like Batman wings.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Bruce has had a long day.

“I am most definitely not fucking kidding you.” answered Dick deadpan.

“Should I prepare a guest bedroom, Master Dick? Or would your companion prefer balcony?”

“Is this not just some guy in a costume?” asked Bruce impatiently.

The creature made a squeaking noise, as if indignant at the comment.

“You just can't believe I actually found the Mothman and we started dating! Well deal with it. And we're not staying.” said Dick as he flung his arm around the creature’s neck

Mothman flapped his wings and took off at an amazing speed, disappearing into the night sky.

“What the fuck” said Bruce agape.

“Master Dick is at a point in life where he craves adventures however it may be in the arms of a demonic cryptid.” Alfred remarked.

“Demonic?” now Bruce was actually alarmed. But Alfred has already retired to his quarters.

**Somewhere far away**

“I’m sure we made a grand entrance but I think it’s time we go back to our separate homes and call it a night.” said Mothman, he’s heard Dick complain about it all evening.

“Haven’t you seen how Bruce reacted? He doesn’t care!”

“What are you talking about? He loves you. he may not show it all the time but remember I’m telepathic.” Mothman put his paw on Dick’s shoulder.

“You really think so?” Dick paused, and said “Meeting you is the best fun I’ve ever had.”

“That’s not true.” Mothman smiled.

“Second best.” Dick seemed a bit embarrassed.

“Well, I’ll always be in the mountain range of Virginia. Sometimes in this dimension.”

Dick snickered and watched Mothman fly away.

**A few days later in Wayne manor**

To Bruce’s relief, Dick came home shortly after, but he wasn’t going to let it go so easily, not after he was genuinely afraid that Dick was going to become demon sacrifice.

“Had your fun? That Mothman didn’t bite your head off?”

“He’s not a demon!” Dick did his research. He wasn’t about to throw himself at a demon just to make Bruce jealous.

“That you know of.” Bruce maintained his serious face for a few seconds, “Look I’m sorry I’ve been taking you for granted and not spending time with you…”

“Did Alfred teach you to say that?” Dick was onto him miles away.

“That’s not the point.”

**Author's Note:**

> this is so stupid hahaahahahah


End file.
